Today In Bathroom Chronicles…Shit happens 💩
So I’m at work minding my business. I walk into the bathroom and I take the only open stall. At first sniff, everything seems fine. I pull down my pants and I squat. Mid squat I hear what sounds like someone pouring an unwanted bowl of cereal in the toilet of the stall next to me. I froze for a minute because I wasn’t quite sure of what I heard, until…
Have you ever saw a cartoon where there’s something stinky and those green fumes find their way to the victim’s nose? It happened just like that! It hit me like a freight train and I wasn’t ready! My mouth was open! Now this wasn’t your normal earthy waste smelling shit, this was sick shit. Y’all know exactly what I’m talking about. Sick shit takes on a unique smell of its own, very reminiscent of raw sewage. I felt like I swallowed it 🤢.
I just kept blowing and blowing and I felt bad because at one point I gagged. It didn’t help that prior to going to the bathroom I had guzzled over 20 ounces of Powerade and 16 ounces of water. I peed and peed and peed some more. I know for a fact I didn’t wipe good! I figured, I can just shower when I get home.
Here is where things got awkward. We exited our stalls at the same time. There was an awkward silence until I spoke and asked how she was doing. Well by the smell I already knew! She was definitely sick! I wanted to tell her that she almost killed me but she talked about the weather. Funny, I couldn’t look her in the eyes. I felt like I might have turned to stone 😂. I hurried out and went back to my desk. I guess 💩 happens, but I sure wish it would happen at home!
Until next time…❤️