My Coming Out Story
Why not start the week with a great coming out story? I know what you’re thinking, if you’ve heard one coming out story, you’ve heard them all…WRONG
Let me begin by saying that I’m a PK (preacher’s kid). I don’t want to hear, “they’re the worse ones”. Maybe a little, but that’s beside the point.
Picture it, Franklin Jr. High, the 90’s, my first female experience. It all began with an innocent card game, so I thought. Let’s just say it was a game of truth or dare and curiosity killed the cat, mine to be exact 😂. R Kelly’s 12 play will never be the same!
Fast forward to 2005, 4 kids later, newly divorced, feeling free, and ready to stand in my truth. My mom and I were out for the day, and all day I’d been giving myself pep talks (like pre game pep talks). I kept saying…tell her, you hella grown, don’t be no punk, what she gone do?, you too old for a whoopin’, she can’t catch you.
We pulled in her driveway and I went for it! No pussyfooting, just ripped the bandaid off…mom, I like females. It became so silent that I could hear my heart beating. It must of shocked her because it took her a while to respond. First words out of her mouth, “what did I do wrong?” I immediately thought, are you kidding me? This isn’t about you right now! Now my courage quickly turns into guilt and regret. She then says, “I knew something was off!” I was like uh duh, I’ve tried to show you signs the last 20 years!
Queue 21 Questions:
Mom: When did this happen?
Me: When I was very young. The feelings have always been there but I was afraid to say anything.
Five more minutes of silence…
Mom: I just don’t understand…
Me: What is there to understand? It’s really not that complicated. I like women.
Mom: What part of the scripture don’t you understand? Adam or Eve? The fact that God made woman for man…
Me: I understand that I know what I like and I believe God still loves me…(I now low key have an attitude)
Five more minutes of silence…
Mom: God created us as sexual beings, so what exactly do y’all do?
Me: (Insert blank stare here) I’m thinking to myself, she can’t possibly be serious and why is sex the first thing people think about with same sex relationships?!? I responded, you sure you really want to know? I really don’t think you’re ready for that conversation. I’ll keep it simple, the mechanics are pretty much the same.
Conversation ends abruptly followed by several minutes of awkward silence.
In that moment I needed to hear that she loved me, and that she accepted me for who I was, but I didn’t get that. I moved to a new city and for 4 years my family did not visit me. After years of failed attempts to reunite me with my ex, she finally accepted the fact that this wasn’t a phase, nor some life after divorce crisis.
Coming out can be scary, it can be hard, but it can also be freeing. You will lose friends and even some family. People will question your relationship with God, your sanity, but speaking personally, it was worth it! One piece of advice to anyone thinking about coming out, do it when you’re ready!
Until next time…❤️