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Today in Bathroom Chronicles 🚽

It’s period time! Oh what joy. The feeling of cramps and looking like I’m 3 months pregnant. Went to the bathroom with my pad discreetly tucked in my bra. I walk in the bathroom and it looks like I’m alone so I was trying to move fast. Why? Loud ass pad wrappers, plus, it’s a long bloody process, pun intended.

I hate public toilets so I stand, don’t judge me. I hurry and begin to remove my used pad. I hear the door, they enter and choose the stall right next to me! Side note: why couldn’t she use the stall at the end? It’s like that one weirdo that pulls right next to you when you’re parked at the water, or the park and out of the 337 empty spaces, they choose the one next to you! I’m back 😂. Disclaimer: anybody who feels like period related topics are tmi, this is not the blog for you. I recently switched from Stayfree to Always. Let me just say, the adhesive on Always pads I swear is made by the inventors of gorilla glue. I’m fighting trying to get the pad off and you won’t guess what happened next…in my struggle, my used pad hit the floor, right side up! It took a minute to register what had happened before I snatched it up hoping the person in the stall next to me was too consumed with their own pee to see what happened. Pulling it from the floor sounded like separating Velcro! It may be a bit of a stretch, but in my mind it could be heard in Wakanda! 🙅🏽‍♀️ (Shout out to Black Panther)

She didn’t make a noise but I stayed in that stall until I heard the door shut. Now I feel caught. If she saw it, I know she was thinking, that nasty heffa! Now I’m in the stall asking myself questions because I’m super extra! Did she see it? Did I get it fast enough? I waited and waited planning my escape. I hurried out, washed my hands, then hurried back to my desk.

Lucky for me, I always carry 2 pair of shoes. I call the second pair my just in case I have to boo boo at work shoes because we all know the first thing we check out when someone is blowing it up…their shoes to 1) see who smells so bad. 2)to see if they wash their hands so you know whose food NOT to eat at the next potluck. I’m traumatized. Today’s lesson, next time I’m sitting my ass down down.

Until next time…❤️

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