How could I possibly forgive if I’m still angry?
I was mad at my ex husband. Mad at my daughter’s father. Most important, I was mad at myself! I was mad at what I allowed. I was mad about the things I didn’t say. About the things I didn’t do. I wasn’t in the space to forgive. Holding on to anger and not forgiving in my mind kept me in control (such an illusion).
I used to say, “I don’t have to forgive, I ain’t Jesus”. How silly. Holding onto resentment festers in your spiritual and physical body like a disease. When we don’t forgive the person that has wronged us, our actions are fueled by hurt which prevents us from healing. In order to forgive and heal we have to release the hurt.
And newsflash, you may have to forgive without the apology you thought you deserved.
My most powerful act of forgiveness was forgiving myself. So often when we think forgiveness, we think external. We don’t think about all of the things we hold ourselves hostage to. I had come to terms with several things.
Making my children victims of divorce
Not completing college
Not returning to church
And that was my short list.
Forgiving doesn’t mean you’re weak.
I used to hear people say that forgiveness isn’t for the other person, it’s for you. Truth be told, I didn’t understand what that meant until I realized that it frees YOU!
Yesterday I had a very “interesting” encounter with my daughter’s father. The pre-forgiveness Jazmine would have responded with a much harsher tongue. My response would have been laced with anger. Forgiveness allowed me to respond from a place of peace and contentment and see things from a different perspective.
“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive peace untold peace and happiness. “ ~ Robert Muller
Until next time…💛