DISCLAIMER: This blog is all about sex, and if the topic makes you uncomfortable, or if you’re underage click out now. This blog is for consenting adults.
Back in my hay day, spontaneous sex was the absolute best and something I knew well. You know that sex that just happened anytime and anywhere. That sex on the side of the road in the car. That sex in the office after hours…I’m talking about that sex.
Today, while there is the occasional spontaneous session, sex looks a bit different. It’s a little more edited. Now notice I said edited, not boring.
In a marriage or relationship that include working adults, children, and side hustles, sometimes things change. No, actually, things do change. You now have to juggle your time between, work, kids activities, being a mom, being a wife and me time.
Remember that spontaneous sex talk in the beginning of this blog. Yeah, well when you’re now juggling all the things, sometimes you have to pencil in sex.
*Brief interruption…shout out to all my co-sleepers AND parents of older children that don’t sleep! We the real MVPs! Keep reading.*
Now let’s talk about a regular day in the life scenarios and how to pencil IT in…
Scenario 1: Get up, get dressed, exercise (maybe), fix lunches, drop off kids, commuting, 8-10 hour work day, kid activities, come home to cook, help with homework, qt with the kids, and by this time, depending on the work day, this could end around 9, 10 or 11 PM.
Scenario 2: Get up, get dressed, exercise/meditate (maybe), get up littles, work at home, chase kids, work, fix kids lunch, break up fights, work, kids nap time, do some laundry, start dinner, shower before mate gets home, serve dinner, bathe kids, put them to bed 5 times. By this time, it’s 8:30, 9, 10 PM.
Sound familiar? Now these are two different scenarios, but both of them are long days, and in most cases, M-F. If you fall into one of those scenarios, or somewhere in between, pencilling in sex is totally okay! I will say this, it’s going to take a bit of creativity, but make it fun! First thing, decide how often you want to have sex. Maybe you’re a M, W, F or a T, Th, Sat or perhaps you’re a W, Sat. You get the picture. Sit down with your partner and pencil it in. Flirt while you do it.
Warning: this activity may lead to impromptu sex.
Leading up to it, send cute little messages throughout the day. After 14 years, we still text dirty. Keep that spark alive! Get creative! If it’s the day, make sure you stick to your daily schedule. Get done what you need to get done. Quite honestly, it will make you more motivated to finish all the things a bit early knowing what’s coming later. Put those kids in the bed, turn on “THE” playlist and get to work.
Now remember me mentioning the older children that don’t sleep and the co-sleepers? Yeah this is where you get creative with the “how to get it done”. My truth, my kids are older. They know that if our door is closed and locked, just head to bed. Now to my co-sleepers, I was once you. Pallets on the floor, next to the bed. Meet me in the shower. Break out the cuffs. The honey. The hot oil. Blindfolds. Role play. Humph, I am NOT above playing a naughty student to the teacher…You get my point. It does not have to be boring.
Let’s discuss what happens if you just don’t feel up to it? Rescheduling sex is perfectly okay. Sometimes you’re just tired or sometimes your mate done got on your nerves and you have an attitude lol. For myself, the conversation usually goes like this;
“Hey babe, I know we have us time tonight but…” and usually the reply is, “I’m tired too” followed by laughter. We just vibe like that.
Remember that sex in a relationship is important. No, it’s not everything, but it’s a big part. Knowing what your partner needs and likes is also important. People, don’t be afraid to, or feel ashamed if you schedule sex. How you get there is not important as long as you get there.
Now before I go, say it with me 📣:
Scheduling sex is okay.
Scheduling doesn’t = boring
Until next time…🦋