“The same way I allowed myself to be hurt repeatedly was the same allowance I needed to give myself to heal and forgive.” -Me
Why do we rush healing? Both physical and mental. You have a baby, there’s the societal pressure of snapping back. You lose a loved one, you’re given 3-5 days to grieve, then it’s back to work. You experience a breakup/divorce and folks want to know when you’ll date again. Can you not put a timeframe on my healing.
Everyone’s healing is going to look different and there’s no rule on how long it should take.
After my divorce I didn’t give myself enough time to heal or forgive. I didn’t because I felt like I needed to do whatever I needed to do quickly in order to be present for my children. In order to not appear weak. How many have experienced that? Masking hurt so you don’t look weak? I held on to every argument, insult, and tragedy that had occurred in my marriage. Rushing my pseudo healing left me jaded and resentful. It also didn’t allow the authentic healing process to happen, it only bandaged wounds that eventually resurfaced in my next relationship.
When I gave birth to my last child i wasn’t at the hospital 24 full hours. This was my choice. I remember going home back to what I did everyday, cleaning, cooking, being a wife, and mommying. People would say, you still look pregnant. Well duh, I just birthed an entire human from my womb. I was in labor for hours. I was still bleeding. Or
the ever so famous question, “when are you having another one?” Can I heal first? Why is there a rush to lose the baby weight. To post pics to the gram for likes? While my obsession wasn’t my SnapBack, my desire to resume my regular duties was real.
My healing came through allowing myself to feel and confront every single issue that I was holding on to. It came from forgiveness, for me and not them. Never let anyone rush your healing process. Do it in your own time. Remember, there is no right way to heal.
Until next time…💖