I wish heaven had a post office…
It’s been almost eight months since you left, and I’m still not okay. I look at your urn daily, which by the way, I’ve adorned with a mask of your face…and wait for it, one of your ponytails. I know how important looking good was to you.
When you would tell me that everyday you’d get up and say, “good morning Leroy”, to dad’s urn I didn’t get it, but, I get it now.
I wake up daily with you on my mind. I still, at times wait for your call. I still, at times try to call. “Mom’s House” is still number one in my faves. What I wouldn’t give to hear, “well hello Ms. Jazmine” This was always my indication that I had waited too long to call and check on you.
Some days I have to admit I get a bit angry that you didn’t tell me how sick you were. Some days I get a bit angry at myself for not noticing.
Lately my emotions have been all over the place. Sad you left, but happy you didn’t suffer…long. We had so many conversations about that. I can still hear you saying, “when I go, Lord don’t let me suffer, just let me go in my sleep” I think God honored that.
Ten days, TEN DAYS from diagnosis to death. I wanted more time. I needed more time. 42 years just wasn’t enough!
We’re two days away from Mother’s Day and I’m not sure what I feel. I’ve never been one to celebrate much of anything, but now this day seems to have a deeper meaning; level of importance if you will. This Mother’s Day I will honor your life.
I just wanted to let you know that I’m doing alright. That I’m keeping my promise, I talk to Jr. everyday…and he still down here lyin 😂. Also, I know I didn’t tell you I lost my job before you died, but I’m sure you know now. Sooooooo, now that you have a direct connection to Jesus, can you tell him to make something shake? I mean, a six figure job, or the lottery numbers…light work for him. I can hear you saying, “everything isn’t a joke Jazmine” 🤣
My favorite girl, my rider, my sidekick, I miss you like crazy! Kiss dad for me.
Your favorite child (everybody knew),
Jaz